Study the Bible
with Pastor Gregory

1. The Corruption of the Honor in Marriage – vv. 17-19
   
   
1. The jealousy that Saul possessed for David continues to find a desire for David’s destruction.
2. Here we find Saul using his promise of 1 Samuel 17:25 as a means by which to place David into great peril.
3. Because of his pledge, Saul is bound to give his daughter to David – but uses it as an opportunity to require additional exertion by David on the field of battle - "Then Saul said to David, ‘Here is my older daughter Merab; I will give her to you as a wife, only be a valiant man for me and fight the Lord’s battles’."
4. Saul’s goal was to call on David to fight additional battles with the Philistines – causing additional opportunity for his death at their hands: "Saul thought, ‘My hand shall not be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him’."
5. Whereas marriage is designed to provide an opportunity to portray the faithful and committed relationship existing between God and His people, Saul was corrupting it into a tool of his own selfish agenda – cp. Ephesians 5:25-28
1. The biblical criterion given for marriage is that a young man or a young woman be able to enhance the spiritual vitality of the other.
2. Wealth, family of origin, status, personal appearance, or personality are not the primary criteria that ought to be used in contemplating the propriety of marriage.
6. David’s view of himself was that he wasn’t worthy of such a union – revealing the loftiness with which he held the honor of marriage – "But David said to Saul, ‘Who am I, and what is my life or my father’s family in Israel, that I should be the king’s son-in-law’?"
7. As David further distinguished himself through the subsequent skirmishes with the Philistines as Saul required, he ought to have received what was promised, but instead he saw the contempt that Saul possessed for him – "So it came about at the time when Merab, Saul’s daughter should have been given to David, that she was given to Adriel the Meholathite for a wife."
   
   
2. The Contempt for the Heart of Marriage – vv. 20-22
   
   
1. Instead of reacting in disgust to Saul, David truly viewed himself as unworthy of the loftiness of the union that had been in view.
2. However, one of Saul’s daughters – Michal had seen David’s exploits and her brother’s admiration for him and began to love him – "Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. When they told Saul, the thing was agreeable to him."
3. Instead of seeing his daughter’s devotion to David as something to be respected and prized, Saul viewed it as an opportunity to further his schemes against David – "Saul thought, ‘I will give her to him that she may become a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him."
4. Saul’s thought was that he would ask for David to imperil himself at the hands of the Philistines and that the prize for David’s head would increase since he would now be part of the royal family – giving the Philistines greater incentive to defeat him.
5. "Therefore Saul said to David, ‘For a second time you may be my son-in-law today." – granting his daughter her wish for a marriage to David.
6. Saul plots and schemes to attempt to send David messages that the King will not do again to him what he had done with Merab – treacherously give her to another – "Then Saul commanded his servants, ‘Speak to David secretly, saying, "Behold, the king delights in you, and all his servants love you; now therefore, become the king’s son-in-law".’"
7. There was absolutely no respect for the heart of his daughter, the dignity of marriage or the welfare of a loyal subject – only the desire to have David killed.
   
   

1. The Recognition of the Honor of Marriage – vv. 23-24
   
   
1. When David was approached by the servants of Saul, his response demonstrated that his heart was pure before the Lord – "So Saul’s servants spoke these words to David. But David said, ‘Is it trivial in your sight to become the king’s son-in-law, since I am a poor man and lightly esteemed’?"
2. I believe that David is here demonstrating a genuine reverence for the king – acknowledging that to marry one of his daughters was to join himself to the royal family – a dowry he cannot afford.
3. When we marry, we do not merely marry the individual, but we become part of a family.
4. David’s respect for Saul kept him from "jumping at the chance" to improve his station and he saw the unworthiness of himself in contrast to the loftiness of the Lord’s anointed leader of Israel.
5. This teaches us that a man must never waltz into a girl’s life and attempt to win her heart independently of her father’s blessing – to do so is to insult him and proudly assert your own worthiness (which is an act of great conceit and pride).
6. David’s sincerity in respecting Saul was conveyed to Saul through the his servants – "The servants of Saul reported to him according to these words which David spoke."
   
   
2. The Respect for the Requirements for Marriage – vv. 25-26
   
   
1. Knowing David’s heart, Saul devises a way by which his offer would be appealing to David – a way by which he could prove himself worthy of the king’s favor.
2. Essentially, he has to prove his worthiness by killing 100 Philistines and bringing proof back to Saul that he had done so – "Saul then said, ‘Thus you shall say to David, "The King does not desire any dowry except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to take vengeance on the king’s enemies."’
3. This offer was made because Saul fully expected David to die in the pursuit of the dowry – "Now Saul planned to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines."
4. When David heard this, "it pleased David to become the king’s son-in-law" and David accomplished the feat before the deadline by exceeding the requirement by 100%.
5. Saul was now obliged to give his daughter to David – "So Saul gave him Michal his daughter for a wife."
   
   

1. The Basis for Marriage – v. 28
   
   
1. In the consideration of marriage we see here that the basic foundation for marriage existed – love: "When Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David, and that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him …"
2. True matrimonial love is the desire to see the object of love served in such a manner as to enable them to be everything that God desires them to be.
3. It is accomplished through intimacy with the partner –
1. Spiritual Intimacy – enhancing their spiritual vitality through your own efforts in their lives
2. Mental Intimacy – enhancing their knowledge and orientation to truth through your own strengths
3. Emotional Intimacy – enhancing their emotional strength through your support and encouragement.
4. Physical Intimacy – enhancing their fulfillment and purity through your own affection and love.
   
   
2. The Blight in Marriage – v. 29
   
   
1. However, one of the great dangers in marriage is the issue of preserving the relationship with the "in-laws"
2. Here we see that David was on the outs with Saul from the beginning – "then Saul was even more afraid of David. Thus Saul was David’s enemy continually."
3. Keeping unity in the family is important, but isn’t always possible.
   
   
3. The Blessing in Marriage – v. 30
   
   
1. Marriage, however, is to be a means by which God can bring great blessing and joy into a couples’ lives – clearly bringing great motivation to serve the Lord faithfully.
2. Here, David becomes an even greater warrior as God blesses his efforts in every respect – cp. v. 28
3. One of the primary ways that the blessing of the Lord was viewed in David’s life was the prosperity that he knew in battle – cp. v. 30.
   
   

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